I just had to stop and snap a shot of this window display. A total WTF mate? moment at 9am. Let me introduce you to the world of massage in China. Well, to be honest, I have a very biased experience of Chinese massage--having never partaken of oriental table showers nor dragon massages nor entered those kinds of bathhouses. At least, I don't think I have.....err.

To be fair, there is at least a 30:1 ratio of pictures of half-naked women laying on their stomachs with a mysterious pair of slender hands pressing on their soft-skinned backs. I just couldn't resist these homoerotic adverts so at the risk of looking like a total CREEPER, I present these to you.

Am I in Shanghai or a SF Muni terminal? Bwahaha. (We have giant adverts in our bus terminals of half-naked men embracing. And at the bottom there's a reminder to get tested or use proper caution etc, I can't rightly remember).

Anyway in China, massages can be ridiculously cheap for the basics to $$$ for super high-class treatment. You can pay between $4 to $200+ for an array of services (I can't comment on how much those services cost). An interesting fact: some places advertise their blind masseuses because supposedly they can really suss out the trouble spots given that being sightless allows the other senses to be enhanced. Also, it gives them a job here in a country where most "troublesome" aspects of society are largely ignored or the services for them are much lacking.

My first day here in SH I sought out a place that looked pretty decent, plus it was only 40rmb (~$6) for an hour-long massage. This involves laying fully clothed and being rolled, kneaded, chopped, and pressure-pointed from my head to my ankles--foot massage was separate. I always like to go for the basic packages where you are still clothed, but they normally give you some clean pajamas to change into. The lady applied the amount of pressure I liked, the private room was relatively clean, I was offered hot tea, my masseuse left the TV on some Chinese nature channel so I got a soothing narrative about ground squirrels....BUT the pillow smelled like cigarettes and the sour sweat of the patron before me! I overlooked this last part since it was HELLA CHEAP and the lady almost made me cry--which is a good thing bc I like my massages near tear-inducing. I don't like paying $100 in the US to have someone caress me for an hour. And I don't like when people are afraid of applying pressure in fear of breaking my bones. This lady, when she asked if the pressure was ok, murmured approvingly, "Doesn't look like it, but you sure can take the pressure" and went to work on my back. **If you want an interesting aside, email me privately hahhaa**

The 2nd time, we found a nicer place but also twice as expensive: 88rmb for an hour. Service was nice enough, but I just felt like the lady never got close to the right points. Like she was always pressing exactly riiiiiightnexttoit. Well, at least the pillows smelled fine.

This last time, I think I found the best place so far. 1) It's within a 5-7 minute walking distance. 2) I paid 88rmb for 90 min of back, shoulder, AND feet. 3) They wash my feet for me. 4) They roll a bag of hot stones on your back and 5) There's free food and drinks. Afterwards, you can chill in the room by yourself enjoying the food and presumably watching TV, but that flat screen was never on when I was there. Also interestingly, they gave Jimmy a chick, and me a dude, who looked remarkably like Jimmy Chen--I kept staring down at his head when he was washing my feet and thinking, "Dang how can I take a picture of his hair w/o seeming like a creeper?!!?"